Elvis Impersonators

Sighted at the Rusty Rudder on Saturday night, September 23rd, 2007. I'll let the video tell the story.

Dating and the Wild World Wide Web

I need to share a dynamic duo of messages from a guy who I met on an internet dating site. I promise that I did not make this up. We "met" online and corresponded a couple times. We set a time to meet in person. My friend spied a wedding ring in one of his profile photos, and I asked him how far along he was in his divorce proceedings. Suddenly, he canceled, saying he wasn't ready to date anyone. I sent back a brief, conciliatory note, saying to take his time. However, I did ask him why was he on an internet dating site, and that I wasn't expecting him to answer.

And then.....[drumroll, please!]......I received the following two messages:

"From: H--------3

Date Received: September 13

Subject: I have a problem lying

Hi [name removed],

I need to tell you the truth. My wife and I separated on August 16, 2007. I told her that we needed to work on our underlying issues. I told her that I would go to therapy once a week to deal with my lying regarding flirting with other women, pot smoking, and cigarette smoking. I just can't help lying.

On that day, I told my wife that I would not date or see other people and I hoped she would not do the same. The separation was an investment so that in the long run our relationship would be better. The next day, after she moved, I started writing my profile for match.com.

The Friday before we made our date, my wife called and asked me if I wanted to still adhere to our guideline of not dating anyone. Right away, I told her "yes." I told her that I wasn't dating anyone and I didn't want her to date anyone either. She had no idea about me being on match.com.

I want to date girls and have my wife on the side. At a very early age, I learned what women want to hear and I tell them it. I have no respect for women. My therapist says it is because I have never developed an authentic self.

You deserve better than me. You deserve someone who is honest and respects you/women. Be relieved that you never met me.

The reason I emailed you and cancelled our date was because my wife's friend saw my picture on match.com. I got caught and had to back out quick. My therapist is so disgusted he can't even speak."

The quick followup message:

"From: H-------3

Date Received: September 13

Subject: oops one last thing

I forgot one last truth.

The first two pictures of my profile were taken on May 25, 2007 by my wife. We were in Antigua celebrating our 5 year anniversary by renewing our vows!

I am such a liar."

He works in the Cannon Building (I know for whom), and I accidentally ran into him on the street the next day. Either he didn't see me or pretended not to see me.